Today I was intending to make a start on a long overdue research article, but the tyranny of the black page got the better of me so instead, I did what most of us do when we’re wrestling with writing: I procrastinated. Dilatory tactics are rarely fruitful, and while this is certainly no exception to that rule, I did manage to generate something that is sort of scholarly and somewhat amusing.
After clicking aimlessly through research repositories for while I happened upon a website called Article Video Robot. If you believe the hype (and don’t), it is “The world’s only software that can convert any plain-text article into a stunning marketing video with animation, music, graphics and a complete voice-over in just one single click!” So I did as any procrastinator would do, and signed up for a free trial and proceeded to convert a previously published article on ‘Scenes and Sexualities’ and the blurb for one of my books Playing it Queer into a supposedly ‘stunning’ video.
I guess they mean stunning in the stupefying sense as opposed to impressive or captivating because I find it hard to imagine how anyone could be satisfied with what the robot spits out. To its credit, the ‘one click’ option actually worked but the rendered result was pretty abysmal. So I thought why only waste 30 minutes of your time when you can easily waste another 30 minutes by tweaking font options, adding some custom images and background music. Hell, why not squander an entire afternoon and make two aesthetically forsaken pieces of digital garbage and then blog about it? Ok. Done.
I cant imagine that anyone is going to read this post but if you do then greeting fellow procrastinator, here’s what you’ve been waiting for…